Avengers Opening Weekend
I went and saw The Avengers this weekend. I will be posting a full length review on it soon but for now I want to address something else that happened during my theater viewing experience. This is basically how the movie went for me:
There were basically two types of scenes the movie varied between. A lot of times there was a whole bunch of action and loud noises going on with Hulks & Thors flying everywhere and Johanssons flipping their hair and legs around and Captain America’s flexing their muscles and Iron Mans rerouting all available power to thrusters and such.
My reaction:
But then things would get quiet and the characters would exchange things called “dialogue” that assisted in revealing “plot points” and “important story information” that helped the movie progress. Every time that happened one of the 3,000 underage toddlers and babies in my theater would start crying/walking around/have a 15 minute conversation with their parent about whether they needed to go potty or not.
My reaction:
Let me run that by you again. Sometimes there was action!
My reaction:
Then there was quiet dialogue, aka baby screaming time.
My reaction:
The moral of the story? I am a father. I have a child that would not be able to sit through a 2+ hour movie that does not involve My Little Ponies, DJ Lance Rock or Disney musical dance numbers. On top of that, a PG-13 movie is inappropriate for her. Therefore, I leave her home when I go to these kinds of films. I would be very appreciative if the rest of the world would follow suit and waste their own money on a babysitter rather than waste my money I spent on the already overpriced movie ticket I had to buy for my wife & I.
Thank you.
Review: Immortals
To me, watching Immortals wasn’t just a decision I made solely on the fact that I thought the movie looked interesting to watch. Immortals was both an audition video for Henry Cavill as the next Superman as well as a test to see if the film style and tone that Zack Snyder laid out with 300 could be replicated without just coming across as a pathetic copycat.
To the former, I give my nod of approval for Mr. Cavill to take upon the coveted and yet difficult mantle of playing Superman in film. Before watching Immortals I wasn’t sure if this Englishman had the acting chops to pull off not only an entertaining but also convincing Kal El in Zack Snyder’s upcoming “Man of Steel”. But after watching this film I can safely say that Henry is not only pleasant on the eyes but also on the ears and should do well in bringing life back to the well known Kryptonian on the silver screen.
To the latter, I also give a nod, mostly to Tarsem Singh but also to his crew, for pulling of an action packed epic that was not hollow and without a story driving it. Immortals was visually amazing and striking. The filmmakers brilliantly added subtle elements to the look and feel of the film to give it a bit of a resemblance to old greek theatrical styles. At certain points you almost felt like you were watching a high budget stage production with fantastic visual effects. But on top of all that visual glamour was a compelling story that took pieces from stories we already knew and yet wove them together into something unique and fresh. The film had a great balance between drama and adventure that didi a pretty good job of not cheaply sacrificing one for the other.
Immortals was a surprisingly good example of how good a battle-filled mythological epic can be when you sweeten the deal with good writing and a great cast.
Jason Statham’s “Safe”
News: Jason Statham is in an action film called “Safe” (anyone else get the irony in the name of his movie?)
My reaction:
News: Movie synopsis for “Safe” is released - “A former elite agent takes on a two-tier mission: rescue a Chinese girl who’s been abducted by the Triads, then use a safe combination to outwit the Russian Mafia, corrupt NYC officials, and the Triads themselves.”
My reaction:
My hardcore Jason Statham “I’ll watching anything he is in including Crank 2 & Death Race” fan friend Scott’s reaction:
My reaction to Scott’s reaction:
Stephanie Meyer’s “The Host” Film
News: Stephanie Meyer’s book, The Host, is being made into a film, has a teaser trailer and a new poster.
My initial reaction due to the “quality” of the Twilight Trilogy movies:
News: Saoirse Ronan is the lead actress in the film
My reaction:
News: Andrew Niccol is directing and writing it.
My reaction:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt + Bruce Willis + Emily Blunt = 
Grown Ups 2?
News: Grown Ups 2, the sequel to this shiny piece of poo, has been greenlit for production.
My reaction:
News: Taylor Lautner, the great llama himself, will be joining the cast.
The world’s reaction:
Total Recall Totallity
News: Total Recall, the Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-film film, is being remade.
My reaction:
News: Len Wiseman, director of the first two Underworld movies, is directing it.
My reaction:
News: Jessica Biel has a leading roll in it.
My reaction:
News: Bryan Cranston, from Breaking Bad, has a leading role in it.
My reaction:
News: Kate Beckinsale has a leading role in it.
My reaction:
It’s been a roller coaster of emotions. Check out the new trailer below:
“Goon” vs “The Goon”
News: Something comes out about the new “Goon” movie being made.
What I think of:
My reaction:
What the article is actually about:
My reaction:
Dear Mr. Fincher,
Please stop working on some stupid TV remake series and get “The Goon” into theaters asap.
Sincerely,
A lot of Fanboys
Buddy Cop Mad Lib
An excerpt from a Variety article posting on a new film deal:
Paramount has won a bidding war for an original action-comedy pitch from Rodney Rothman that has Seth Rogen and Kevin Hart attached to star.
The same excerpt translated into a Mad Lib:
__Generic Big Name Studio__ has won a bidding war for an original action-comedy pitch from __Hollywood Writer who has Dreams of Directing someday__ that has __Currently Popular White (Asian works as well) Dude Celebrity__ and __Loud Mouthed African American Comedian__ attached to star.
See also:
Source: variety.com
A Tale of Two Snows
A few years ago it was zombie movies, after that it seemed like everyone was making epic war stories and then it moved onto vampires. Now, it seems, everyone is trying to make movies about Snow White. Well, not everyone but at least two production companies, Universal & Relativity, are releasing films based around the well known Grimm fairytale this year. One at the end of this month and the other is saving its release for blockbuster season in June. Which one will be remembered and which will look like the copycat. Being a nerd I have chosen to go at this from a scientific stance.
The Question:
Which Snow White film will be the best? (that is assuming either of them will be good. But, for the sake of the experiment, let’s just live in la-la land for a moment)
The Research:
Mirror, Mirror’s trailer starts off with cheery, Christmas-esque music (thank you Alan Menken, Mr. Disney music himself), the color scheme and art direction are bright, colorful and cartoonish. The characters have been provided with a plethora of punny one-liners to spout at each other and whimsical sound effects are used with falling dwarves. On top of that they have kept it at a PG rating so that everyone and their kids (literally) can see it.
Snow White & The Huntsman is clearly after a different demographic. The trailer starts off with dark, omnious music and partial nudity on Charlize Theron’s part. Their art direction is clearly darker and grittier to the point where the two leads, Kristen Stewart & Chris Hemsworth, seem to have dirt on their face the entire film. The dark forest where the dwarves are found is in fact filled with evil, scary looking creatures and there are even a few shots of large military scenes with men being killed by other men. On top of that, although the rating has not been set yet, I think it is safe to say the rating will be a PG-13 rating. PG would not allow some of the stuff we see in the trailer and an R rating would hurt their ticket sales too much.
The Hypothesis:
The Conclusion: We’ll find out after June 1, 2012
